Nitpickery

I love many fine works on the internet, in fact I prefer internet work over network television because there is more effort put into it. I also grew up with “At the Movies” and loved that kind of banter between siskel and ebert. When  I found thatguywiththeglasses.com I was in heaven.

Why?

It’s because many of the reviews done by the flag ship reviewer and a few others have a style similar to At the Movies or any other decent media columnist .

The difference?

They incorporate humor into their reviews which most of your more “professional” (using the term loosely) columnists working for news papers and magazines do not, can’t, or won’t. Pick one.

That out of the way a theme occurring again and again in any of the videos I watch is the reviewers having to take time out of their next video to apologies for something or correct something they said or did in a previous video. They have to do this because many people take it upon themselves to have no lives beyond these internet celebrities, which is exactly what they are.

I understand there are human encyclopedias out there, but seriously if all you do with your ability is become a curmudgeony self righteous person then guys and gals you need to get a life or take some some valium or something.

Allow me to explain.

On February 02, 2010 Doug Walker “The Nostalgia Critic” reviewed Battlefield Earth. In said review he makes a comment about the ending scene where the planets atmosphere blows ignites because of a nuclear bomb. I don’t really remember the entire comment, but then again I don’t really care, it’s a shitty movie. If you care that much about the comment watch the video.  Since that time he had made his mistake clear and had corrected himself, a few times. Yet in recent Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Fuck Ups Part 3 he had to bring it up again, that means for over two years this little screw up has been seething in peoples minds.

Things like this aren’t just limited to him, but many of these internet reviewers. This type of attitude also can find it’s way into roleplaying game sessions or tv show / book/ movie discussions. You’ll be somewhere in public talking about  something, anything, you and a friend enjoy and some asshat chimes it correcting you on some nonsense factoid you got wrong.

This kind of attitude really gets to me because no one is perfect. No one. Doug even based a, rather funny, character on these type of people. So to you Douchey McNitpick’s out there: grew the fuck up and go outside once in a while, will ya?

Proposed Question: Should games offer more help when we get stuck?

Kyle Orland over at http://arstechnica.com asked the question in his blog “Should games offer more help when we get stuck?“

I am a bit torn on this. You see I, like most of you, grew up with games that were platform scrollers that you didn’t need help with. However I will say I do remember playing games like Zombies Ate My Neighbors, the Wayne’s World game, and the more obscure Cool Spot. These games never offered any hints in what to do or what your general goal was, this is where you actually need to think (a rare thing for gamers today). Zombies Ate My Neighbors requires strategy and days and weeks (if not months) of game play to actually win with little reward other than a “Thank you for playing.” or “You Win!” screen. Yeah, what a rip off, gamers got it easy today with gamefaqs and youtube tutorials. Back in the 80′s and early 90′s we were lucky if we had a strategy guide to tell us where to go next.

Now for the past year I’ve come to realize how difficult some PC games were such as Phantasmagoria 2, Ripper, and even the Ultima series. Thinking bad to my first adventure game, The Longest Journey, the puzzles weren’t as hard as those in Ripper (crystal puzzle) they were one up on the “Full Circle” or “Couch Wallet” Phantasmagoria 2 puzzles, but like most adventure games, you were never given any hints at what to do next, so when you did solve them, you felt like you actually accomplished something.

So, should games offer more help when you get stuck?

Honestly, that depends on the game and how batshit insane the programmers are when making it. As Noah Antwiler at the end of Phantasmagoria 2 the end puzzle of the game needs some sort of guide or clue on how to end it because, without one, it is unsolvable unless you are willing to put hours upon hours into solving it. If you’re willing to put that kind of time into a game, you need to take a step back and really reexamine your goals in life.

I will say that I have played games that the character will give you hints after time, I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but they exist.

To finish up, there is a reason the Monkey Island series is a fun one to play, it’s puzzles are hard yes, but if you really sit down and think about what you’re doing and what the game makers would expect of you for a good adventure game, then they are not all that hard.

So, as I said, hints are helpful, depending on the context of the game. In rpg’s and adventure games they are necessary and should be included, but not overly so where your hand is literally being held by the designers. Any other games, they are typically useless.

Why Lucas, Why….

So I’m looking at the upcoming films for my theater and I see this. Lucas, what in the hell man? I get that movie makers are in it for the money, I really do. However is this the only reason to put this out in 3D ?

This film was not good when it first came out, but you know people are going to go see it. You know people are going to waste their money on this garbage, and why? because it’s Star Wars. That’s all.

I think that is a big problem when it comes to titles and fads, which is all 3D is. It’s typically not well done and there are people, to my understanding that cannot medically see these films.

I wear glasses personally and it is uncomfortable to wear the glasses over my own and I can’t take them off if I want to see the film.

You all know what this film entails. All I can ask you loyal readers is please do not see this, please make a stand and tell this jerk that we will not stand for these movies to see the light of day again!

Life and Such

The reason for my stint away from here is somewhat long. In short health, finances, and quite frankly a lack of content all played a part.

Some of it all is coming into focus and getting better for me. Seeing the improvements that wordpress had made, I might even add in a video one a week.

I am currently reading the New 52 Batman comics, though I am admittedly behind. My thoughts right now on it is that the story is good, so far I think, though it’s a bit bright for a batman comic and some of the plot seems convenient.

That is all from me for now, dear readers.

The Knighted Nerd

Oh, it’s on now Boll!!!!!

In the Name of the King 2

Friends, I am really perplexed here. I have never watched a Uwe Boll movie, and with good reason: HIS FILMS SUCK. Oh, I’m familiar with them,trust me I am (see the following). I am glad that Blizzard turned him down for the WoW movie. I find it disheartening when I find people of my generation liking these movies. Just like ANY Stephen King film, they are not any good. He knows this, and he enjoys laughing in our faces while he becomes rich. Thank god that the loop hole he was using is practically gone as far as I can tell; you see during a brief scan of the internet I found that the German government had done something with that tax-write off loop hole the only problem is, is that I do not know exactly what the law is called so I cannot look that up specifically. As I said though, it appears the German government is tightening its grip so maybe soon he will stop with his horribleness?

This year is seeing at least the filming of In The Name of the King 2. This film had already seen disaster being that six people were reportedly injured on the set due to an explosion on the set. Safety on a film set? What ever do you mean?

The only greatness that was reported is that Dolph Lundgren s supposed to be in the film, which will most likely bring with it unintended awkward comedy to the film, but the pay off really isn’t going to be worth a 90 minute runtime.

I don’t understand why this man is allowed to continue raping the good names of these franchises. I implore you dear readers, stop giving this man your money. I don’t often say this, but stop paying for his crap and just torrent the hell out of it. If you did buy any of his movies I would advise to cast them back into the firey chasm from whence they came, or just throw them away.

Until next time friend and readers,

The Knighted Nerd

Here there be Modders, Yarrrrr!

I’m an avid player of MMORPG’s (Massively Multi-Player Online Roleplaying Games) and I’ve trying everything from Anarchy Online and Dark Ages of Camelot to Guild Wars, World of Warcraft, and even Star Trek online. This brings me to this article posted on MMORPG.com yesterday.

Firstly, I will agree with Coyote Sharptongue in that the whole thing about piracy, while still a problem for many industries, has not yet killed them. I’m sure that people still do the honorable thing and simply want to try before buying the cd, dvd, or video game because, let’s face it, who really wants to plop down $60 plus dollars for a game that either sucks or can be beaten within a couple hours.

He is also correct when he says people are morons when it comes to being a would-be pirate. One particular event is etched into my brain for all time. I was with my family in the downtown area of the city in which I live and we were in an area called Market Square. Their was this guy with a book bag and a portable dvd player, I only had to watch him for a mere few minutes before I realized that he was blatantly selling ripped movies; Not even the DVD of the movie (with all the extras and such), but just the movie itself and he was charging like $10 a movie. Screw you dude.

Now, onto the real meat here. He brings up Diablo 2 and the issues with that in where modders (Hacks, mods, cheats and exploits) would completely ruin the online experience. I feel several ways about this

First, I can see using such things if you had beaten the game or the game is too difficult to beat such as in the case of Wolverine: Adamantium Rage and a few other games like that.

Secondly, if you’re good at hacking a game code and finding exploits in the game code that you can modify to your advantage more power to you. Many of you may remember the Game Shark and Game Genie and thusly gamefaqs.com which provides exploits and hidden codes for various games (if they can be found).

In these cases I have no problem with it. As I said, if you found it (cheats and exploits) or wrote it yourself (hacks and mods) then you should be allowed to use them. The problem is these code monkeys show off to their friends and thus their friend use them and they start to be spread around. It is these amateurs that I have a problem with. A likeness would be a new player to World of Warcraft who bought a level 85 character with complete end game gear, mounts, etc. and then stands out like a sore thumb by asking something like “How do I do x?” or something similar.

Now, I have never played the Diablo series, though my brother did own one of the Diablo games for.. I think the Playstation so I’ve seen it played. Reading the article and the comments belonging to it I’m assuming that the online play feature is PVP. Given this fact getting raped by some max level character seems par for the course to me.

The issue as I see it is not with the people doing the moding and hacking, it’s with the publishing company. As we all know the publishing company is the one who sets the deadline for the product. Also, as is well known, it used to take a few days to a few weeks to produce a game. Now you might have a two year deadline and the programming team might only get six months to a year making sure the base of the game works the way it should. This is where patches and upgrades currently come into play.

What do I expect you, dear reader, to take away from this? The simple fact that while hacks, mods, cheats and exploits might annoy or even anger you. Such things happen in games because 1) Programmers do what they can to make sure the game runs as they expect 2) They purposely program in dev codes for themselves and their testers and leave them in the final production and 3) Gamers, by default are intelligent wily bastards and will do whatever they can to crack a game and exploit it like the whore it is.

Torchwood – Miracle Day – The Very End

The journey of this season is complete, but how did it stack up? I waited until now to post how I felt about the last two episodes because I wanted to give them their dues.

Despite the material given, the actors pull out the most of the characters in these last two episodes entitled “The Gathering” and “The Bloodline”

Almost everyone in the real world believes that the Earth is held in balance. This series ultimately plays off that offering up something that Jack, despite all he has see and done, cannot explain (like with The Doctor in “Impossible Planet/Satan Pit”).

Let me explain, there is a terrestrial chasm going from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Shanghai, China keeping everything in balance including the human race. During the flashback scenes with Angelo we saw people collecting Jack’s blood. The Families thought it was a bright idea to insert Jack’s blood at these opposite ends to simply see what happens. “The Blessing” (the terrestrial thing keeping the Earth in balance) takes this “new data” and implants the imprint to every human being on the planet thus causing “The Miracle”

This explains why Jack was mortal and everyone else was partially immortal. “The Blessing” used Jack’s blood as a template for the human race and, given that it was Jack’s blood, his DNA, it would have thus made him mortal because he is the (unwilling) original copy. This does bring up a small issue to which we will look at momentarily.

After a bit of back and forth between the Family members and Torchwood Jack and Rex (having been infused with Jack’s blood) restore balance. Gwen shoots Jack, and Rex removes the dressing on the wound covering his heart. Jack comes back, as he typically does, and Rex somehow survives though Esther dies.

In this last episode it is finally realized by the main cast that Charlotte Willis is the mole, and she shoots Rex, who appears to die, but then comes back the way Jack does and the episode ends with him asking “You, World War 2, what the hell did you do to me?”

The main and supportive cast brought out everything they could for their characters in these last two episodes, which is a bit of a shame in honest.

Now as per Jack’s blood. In Doctor Who, for those that watched it, at the end of “Bad Wolf / The Parting of Ways” we see Rose bring Jack back to life by use of the heart of the tardis and it’s explained that she didn’t just bring him back to life, but also gave him his immortality. If we are to surmise from the line in Series 3 episode “Last of the Timelords” Jack “used to be a poster boy when [he] was a kid in the Boeshane Peninsula”, as “the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency,” earning him the name “the Face of Boe”. much to the shagrin of, then, Executive Producer Julie Gardner to urge Davies to “stop back-pedalling” about Jack and The Face of Boe being the same.

So, as Jack had stated in this series of Torchwood, there is nothing special about his blood. Nor really should there be if you have watched the Doctor Who episodes. If he is indeed The Face of Boe then he cannot and will not die until the episode of Gridlock (somewhere around five (5) billion years in the future). So I ask this to Davies and crew: How does Jack’s blood make the human race immortal without gifting them with his healing factor until the end?

“The Bloodline” brings about a cliffhanger for the next series: As stated above Jack and Rex fix “The Blessing” and restores death to the world to those that were Cat 1. Somehow after this reset made the world into one where, while people feel pain, like Jack, they (or at least Rex) cannot die still and now have his healing factor. I am hoping it is just Rex and not the rest of the world, because if it is the whole world that has this issue then Torchwood just helped open a whole new can of worms.

I will give both “The Gathering” and “The Bloodline” an 8 of 10

Torchwood – “End of the Road”

As with any series this episode picked up where the last left off. We think “we’re finally going to find out what is happening. What does Angelo know about the Miracle Day?” It turns out we still don’t know because, big shock, Angelo is an old man kept alive by machines at this stage in his life (didn’t see that coming at all).

Wayne Knight shows up again to “arrest” Rex and ends up being set up by him and thus is arrested when, another shock, he blows himself up.

Back to Angelo, who dies during a touching scene with Jack, which was a big shock to everyone including Allen Shapiro, who is played by John de Lancie, won’t let Jack leave Angelo’s house.

Davies and crew way to kill off a character that you just introduced. You should win some award form your stupidity. What was the point in establishing Angelo if you weren’t going to use him or his family much other than to “kidnap” Jack and move the plot along? There are many other ways to go about it after all, obvious writer is obvious (to steal from an internet meme).

Also, along those same lines, you’ve established that no one can die except for Jack. So I’ll ask again why are people still fighting each other and attempting to kill themselves when the act of it is null? I get the burning thing, but even then some bits will still exist and that bit will continue on until “Miracle Day” ends.

Moving on to Oswald, who we find out still is just as weird and an ass as we last left him. He has Jilly Kitzinger find him a prostitute to deliver more exposition about him basically being expendable (duh) and she is offered a job with the family, whom we met last episode and we find out in this one that Charlotte Wills is part of the family and is ina good position to know what is going on.

Lastly before the final scene we find out the reason Angelo died was because he had a bit of alien tech from the destroyed Torchwood hub under his bed emitting some sort of cancellation field which might have a bit to do with Jack being mortal.

All together this episode was ok and some parts were unforeseen but not surprising. I feel that it deserves a 3/5.

Torchwood So Far…

This last episode of the Dr. Who spinoff was ok, but somewhat predictable. If television has taught me anything thus far it would be that you do not develop a  character without including them in the show at some point. This still stands true here is where we are introduced to another one of Jack’s many lovers and finds out a “shocking” truth about him.

Is the series as a whole worth it? So far, with it being only ten episodes long and seven down I can’t say that I feel like it was. We did learn a bit more about Jack yes, but his character traits are something we already new. Bill Pullman’s character (Oswald Danes) does not play as big a role as they made it out he would. Granted people are now worshiping his character, but he hasn’t been seen for two full episodes now.

The flashback scenes would have made better sense in the next episode and this should have focused 0n Rhys, and Gwen’s mom and baby instead.

The writing staff for this includes

John Shiban  – The X-Files (and its spin-off The Lone Gunmen), Star Trek: Enterprise, Smallville, Supernatural, Legend of the Seeker, Breaking Bad and The Vampire Diaries.

Doris Egan – Smallville, Dark Angle, and House

Jane Espenson – Buffy The Vampire Slayer

John Fay – Coronation Street

Ryan Scott – Nothing else

and, of course, the infamous Russell T Davies

Given this writing team I can understand why it is the way it is.

Do I recommend it’s watching?

It would be worth the roller coaster ride once all the episodes are finished, but I don’t feel the “cliffhangers” are that suspenseful.

All I can really say is watch it and judge for yourself.

As always,

The Knighted Nerd.

Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows Part 2 in 3D (Short Version)

I have been working on a way to overall express my feelings about the movie and attempt to give a decent review of it however, given the fact this was based off the book most of you know what happens. So what I will go over is what I thought worked and didn’t in the movie and tell you what I thought of the 3D aspect.

I may do a complete review as well, but haven’t decided yet.

Escape from Gringotts

I feel that the rendering of the dragon was one of the better ones I saw and trust me I saw enough CGI dragons to judge this, thank you syfy channel.

Home at Hogwarts

Harry, though meeting Aberforth Dumbledore, arrives back in Hogwarts where two of the greatest scenes happen.

1st, when Harry reveils himself to Snape and others, including McGonagall, hear what happened on the rooftop (from Harry’s perspective) she get’s furious and when Snape tries to attack Harry she actually gets in the way and defends Harry and even attacks Snape! You go Minerva! It’s about time you were allowed to do something in the series other than talk.

2nd When preparing the schools defenses McGonagall casts a spell on some statues bringing them to life, after which the camera gives a close up of her smiling and saying that “She always wanted to use that spell”

Harry and Helena Ravenclaw

I feel the way the scene was handled went well. It seemed to me that her transparency changed depending on her mood. When angry she seemed more ghost-like, and when sorrowful she seemed more human in appearance. I could be wrong in this, but it’s how I saw it. The actress, I feel did a decent job in the role.

Ron and Hermione and the Chamber of Secrets

After destroying the horcrux with Helga Hufflepuff Cup with a basilisk fang from the skeleton of the one from the second book/film they share a romantic kiss finally expressing how they felt about each other.

Room of Requirement

Harry searches long and hard for the Diadem of Ravenclaw and, due to it “whispering” to him, he finds it and Malfoy & crew find him. I do not know why, even after listening to the book, Goyle found it a bright idea to set a Fiendfyre lose on both Harry and Co and him and Malfoy, but they did. Being the altruistic person Harry is, he and Ron save Draco and Unnamed Slytherin Kid. Possibly turning Draco around? We do not get much more development from the Malfoy family this time around.

With the end of this scene the fifth horcrux is destroyed, along with the Room of Requirement from my understanding.

Snape and Memories

As in the book Snape is killed by Voldemort and his snake and disappears. This leads to a awkwardly heartfelt scene between Snape and Harry. It’s as if Snape felt sorrow for how he treated Harry, but we learn in a few moments why he did.

Harry takes the memories Snape gives him and relives bits here and there. This is what I call The Hero Moment. I’ve seen it before, but very rarely, and had been usually in video games. It’s the moment where the protagonist learns a dark secret about himself or the events that have happened to him thus far in his adventure and could change everything. Here Harry finds out that he, in my mind, that he was a pawn for Albus. Albus Dumbledore knew that Tom was making horcruxes and knew that Harry was one even from the beginning of the events of The Sorcerers Stone.

The situation surrounding this next part is a bit hazy, but in essence Snape swore to protect Harry at all costs. This Harry learns too.There is a little more to this scene, but Harry basically learns that he has been used, tricked, and lied to… and continues on as Albus wanted. Why? Because that is what the plot calls for. This is also where a story like this falls apart for me. After learning something devastating like that, how can one continue on as they were?

Voldemort’s Voice

I forgot to mention some other little part I had an issue with and that is the way they did Voldemort’s announcements. In the previous films they had shown that wands, when held to the neck, act as amplifiers. This is how I saw the scene when they talked of it in the book. He doesn’t whisper when he talks so why was he whispering in everyone’s head? If that were me in the scene I wouldn’t have been able to understand him.

Resurrection Stone Ghosts

The scene with the ghosts was ok, but it didn’t make sense. Was it to inspire Harry to do what must be done ? It didn’t serve a purpose in my mind.

Showdown

Harry and Voldemort have a small showdown before he kills Harry. The way the actor says “Avada Kedavra” (The Killing Curse) here sounded kind of weird. I can’t really describe it, but it sounded … fake and over the top.

Kings Cross Crossroads.

The Heroes Choice. I feel that this was meant to convey that Harry had a choice between living and dying we all know the choice he made, but not before he had another cryptic conversation with Albus. I will say this, the creature under the bench as it was describe in the book was way better in the movie and was more gruesome looking then one could have ever imagined. I’ll save that for you movie gowers out there.

With this, the sixth horcrux is destroyed.

I’m Not Dead! I Feel Happy.

The scene after when harry comes back and soon after is when the Malfoy’s show their true colors and efect from the Death Eaters. Once where Narcissa Malfoy would have killed Potter on the spot, she allows him to live, by saying he’s dead, because he acknowledges that her son is alive.

This scene also brings the strangest and most awkward laugh from Voldemort. I do not know how to describe it and I wish I could get you video footage of it, but I cannot yet. Let’s just say that the audience I was with you couuld tell they were a little confused and even laughed at it’s ridiculousness. Also, when Voldemort is trying to convince others to join is cause Draco steps up and he gives Draco this weird hug. I felt it was very out of place for the character and the movie, but there you have it. It’s stuck there for all time.

Final Battles and 3D

The final part goes off much like in the book, except for more special effects (Harry and Tom using Ward Force on each other). It continues until Neville cuts Nagini’s head off to which the snake died. The way it died was interesting and we’ll see it again in a moment so I’ll save the detail for now.Finally the last horcrux is destroyed and thus Harry kills Voldemort.

This is where the 3D shines the most throughout the picture. There were little things here and there that were ok, but when he starts turning into ash and it flies away into the air, it’s almost like the bits and pieces of him arre there in the room with you and coming at you. I think they saved the 3D budget just for that scene alone. It was fantastic!

There is one other part of the 3D I did like and that is when Voldemort is speaking the snake language. They chose to put the subtitles in 3D so it would stand out. Not the best use of the technology, but it was intriguing  and helpful

The Elder Wand

Harry, Ron, and Hermione have a conversation about the ward to where Harry just says nonchalantly “It’s Mine”. This scene got a chuckle from the audience because of it’s absurd delivery, but it was one of Daniels last lines in the movie, I don’t think he cared much.

19 Years Later… you haven’t aged a day.

I’m calling this epilogue scene as such because rather than using older actors they used

a mix of make-up and special effects was used to depict the cast members as older.

as was reported on digitalspy.com

This did not work at all. I saw no difference with the actors and actresses in this scene. In fact Harry and Ron look MORE adult and grown in the previous 2 hours with their stubble than they did here. Yes they added “older” glasses and peppered Daniels hair a bit, but I saw nothing different about Ron, Hermione or Gine. So this is where the movie bombed for me as it was supposed to be the more memorable parts of the movie.

Ratings

To finish this off my ratings are as follows:

Film 3/5  – It stood up to the standard of the other films, but it just felt a bit rushed.

Soundtrack 4/5 – The music was great and it played into the scenes real well. However, after seven movies using variance on themes only can take you so far.

Story 2.5 / 5 – it just felt too rushed. It was quickly going in and out of scenes and to a younger audience, which this movie is intended for, it may not work the way the director intended.

I would love to hear your feedback. Please either leave comments below or use the Contact page and fill out the form.